"It is a mistake to suppose that God is only, or even chiefly, concerned with religion."

"God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world."

"you've got to cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice"

"Ethics is not definable, is not implementable, because it is not conscious; it involves not only our thinking, but also our feeling."

"All right, then, I'll say it: Dante makes me sick."

"If we have need of a strong will in order to do good, it is still more necessary for us in order not to do evil."

"What I do is based on powers we all have inside us; the ability to endure; the ability to love, to carry on, to make the best of what we have 鈥?and you don鈥檛 have to be a 鈥楽uperman鈥?to do it."

"When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream."

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend; And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry [economy]."

"Here's to our wives and girlfriends... may they never meet!"

"All cats are gray in the dark."

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."