"He doesn't have the greatest smarts in the world. His main interests in school were broads and booze."

"And there's this burning like there's always been, I've never been so alone and I've never been so alive."

"On his examination paper a boy wrote, 'A natural death is where you die by yourself without a doctor's help."

"Religion is a man using a divining rod. Philosophy is a man using a pick and shovel."

"Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equpped with 18,000 vaccuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1 12 tons."

"She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook."

"Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad."

"A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything."

"PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises."

"If we could only share our hopes, our dreams, our disappointments, our fears, our achievements, and our discoveries.... the world would be a little kinder and a lot more forgiving."

"Courtly love-poetry may first have been written during long periods of abstinence on the Crusades, but it would not have flourished in the cold of northern Europe without some help from the chimney."

"SCRIPTURES, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based."