"I must stand up in search of the truth, if I don't I only roll with the flow of the lie and make it stronger."

"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave."

"Love doesn't know about time. It sparks and then it lasts forever."

"Public display of mourning is no longer made by people of fashion, although some flashier kinds of widows may insist on sleeping with only black men during the first year after the death."

"Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was."

"I've been to one world's fair, a picnic and a rodeo and that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard come over a set of headphones."

"To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks."

"HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket."

"Maybe he's only a little bit crazy, like painters, or composers, or some of those men in Washington."

"Man, I was tame compared to what they do now, are you kidding ? All that I ever did was just jiggle."

"Truth, in matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived."

"How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children"